Monday.

If Godzilla represents Monday, consider me this golden retriever...

Mr. October

I know, it's a little late to the jump on the Gossip Girl train (3 years late to be exact), but I just did. Over the past few months, I've dedicated my time and effort to catching up on life in the Upper East Side. And, I've fallen in love. Not just with the lifestyle, but with an empire. Congratulations Chuck Bass, you are my Mr. October.

Now, I want to make this perfectly clear. I am not interested in Ed Westwick, the man who plays Chuck Bass, I am infatuated with the idea of an actual Chuck Bass. Let me tell you why. I'll get the obvious out of the way...Chuck Bass is loaded. He has more money than Donald Trump, and he's not afraid to spend it. He frequents Cartier, buys only custom suits, and has not qualms about dropping a grand on a Tuesday night dinner. Did I mention he cruises around Manhattan in his own stretch limo? He also has great taste in art and I am obsessed with the way he has decorated his penthouse.

But, money can't buy you love, right? Good thing Chuck Bass is also deliciously good looking. And, although he is a bit of a tramp, somewhat mischievous, and more than a little shallow, I would still love to be an accessory on his arm. It's too bad the real Chuck Bass doesn't exist...

You Smell Like A Gay Man

**Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Although my guess is that they're not that innocent.** "You smell like a gay man." "Excuse me?" "Did you just hug my boyfriend? Because you smell like a gay man." This is how my conversation started with two of our buyers from a retail store out east. Paul and James are probably two of the most fabulous buyers I know, and quite possibly the most flamboyant. Whenever they come into our showroom, it's a Broadway production. Usually Paul starts by picking on my outfit: "Look at you Miss Thang. I know you put that outfit on just to attract the boys, you're such a little slut." "Since when do black pants make anyone a slut?" "Since forever! It's the way you walk in them. I can hear it now... 'Boys!! Boys!! Over here! Please check me out while I sit on this chaise.' You totally troll the hallways too." "Paul, that's your job, not mine." "Touche. Oooooo!!! I love that chair! I'll take two!" Paul and James usually stay for at least an hour, and the conversation sways back and forth. From the diamond tufts on our chairs, to Paul's try out for HGTV, then onto the velvets and faux silks, and back again to Paul getting cut from HGTV. Round and round we go. But then, the conversation dramatically comes to a halt. It's like Paul and James are two minds in one. They whisper, argue, then laugh. A mischievous look comes across both faces, and I know a pitch is coming: Paul: "Wouldn't be totally fabulous if you created a corner chair with button tufts in that shiny new blue velvet you showed us?" James: "It would need a contrasting welt, I am thinking green." Paul: "Absolutely, green and blue, totally hot. Let's add green buttons too!" James: "Ummm, yes please!" Paul: "And if it is totally fabulous, I can feature it in my next try out for HG." James: "Seriously Paul! Cool it for the day! I've heard enough from you." In unison, they ask: "Can we do it? Pretty please? Paul: "With a cherry!" James: "Ooo and I'll add whip cream!" Me: "Of course, you both know we'll do anything for you." (This is always my answer. As Paul taught me a few markets back, you never want to upset The Gays...his words, not mine). Toward the end of our appointment, Paul and James ask us questions, mostly the name brand designers we work with. Paul starts: "How is what's his name? Still working for Oprah? What a sellout." "Nate Berk..." James interrupts me. "Don't mention his name around me until he fixes that hair. I can't even look at him." Paul: "Let's change the subject, shall we? What's with The Muscle Gay? The one who heads up that whole operation down south. We've emailed with him and all his exclamation points and flirty xoxo signature. I pictured him more like...well...me. There isn't a chance hell I could have picked him out of a straight man's line-up!" I just laugh. Actually, I haven't stopped laughing since they walked into our showroom. He goes on: "Now, you ladies introduce me to that Jonathon when you get the chance, and I have a few questions for Carlton V as well. Also, please tell Mr. Banks that I love his plaid suits, but I wouldn't buy his plaid chairs, no offense to you guys. Oh, and snub Nate for me too." At this point, James is rolling his eyes. "PAUL! ENOUGH, WE'RE LATE! These girls have wasted our time." Both men gasp. "No really, we love you, but look at all those cute boys out in the hall. Little Miss Thang needs to get back to her post. Tootles!!" And just like that, they're gone. My abs will hurt all week from the laughter.

Backflash to '04.

I found a this old magazine in our showroom. Let's revisit October 2004, shall we?

Nick Lachey and J Simps had just gotten married and were in the middle of taping the first season of Newly Weds. If only I could go back and warn them...Your marriage wont survive season 3! Buffalo wings are made out of chicken!! Please, turn off the cameras!!! MTV's "Rock The Vote" campaign was in full swing. Bush v. Kerry. Let's not even go there. JT and Cameron Diaz were dating. It was speculated that Brit Brit was "headed for trouble" when she proposed to K Fed. Or should we call him Fed Ex? Avril Lavigne turned 21, Usher thought he was cool, and Mischa Barton was Hollywood's 'It Girl.' But don't worry, most stars were JUST like us. To prove it, Paris Hilton put on lip gloss and Nicole Richie tied her own shoes. Lindsay Lohan's only issue was her parent's disapproving of her relationship with Wilmer Valderrama. That, and her cat fight with Hillary Duff... Reese Witherspoon hadn't even considered a date with Jake Gyllenhaal. He was still with Kristen Dunst. Now he's with...no one? And lastly, Eminem was looking like a bad ass when he posed for this locker-sized poster. You better believe it's hanging up in my hotel room. The cleaning ladies must like him too, he's been up there since Thursday!

The Pink Ribbon Bagel

I cannot believe I just ate my first of the month today. This bagel is glorious. Cherry vanilla flavored, and shaped like a ribbon, it will melt in your mouth. I think Green Day wrote their song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" while craving this bagel. Only available in October, the bagel a delicious limited addition. It serves a purpose too. Panera offers the Pink Ribbon bagel in support of breast cancer awareness month. 25 cents of every bagel sold is donated to the fight against breast cancer. Eating to support a cause? I'm in!

Trust me, this bagel...paired perfectly with Panera's hazelnut coffee...is the perfect way to start your Saturday mornings this month. But hurry up! October is halfway over, and you'll miss it when it's gone.

It Feels Like Home To Me

As I deboarded the plane in North Carolina this morning, the song Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk (who?) immediately popped into my head. Over the past two years, I've spent close to 3 months in High Point, NC. Between the furniture markets and the fabric shows, High Point has definitely become my home away from home. The second I get off the plane, a huge smile appears on my face. I know I am going to see one of two things, either a group of good ol' southern boys, with popped collars, engaging in a conversation I cannot translate, or an ocersized woman dressed in some ridiculous get-up. Today was no disappointed. I was greeted by the sight of a woman dressed in a fluorescent pink glitter top and sequined blue jeans, wearing bright lime green cowboy hat. Nope, it doesn't get any better than this.

Our drive from the Raleigh airport to High Point is always quite peaceful. There is something comforting about driving down tree-lined highways speckled with Waffle Houses and Biscuitvilles. We always stop to load up on greasy food before we hit the showroom. Today, we stopped for cheeseburgers and onion rings. The only beverage offered was sweet tea, but as usual, I could stomach the thought.

As we arrive in High Point and walk to our showroom, we see a handful of locals we've come to know. Conversations usually start with "well I heard from my neighbor, who's also my cousin that..." or "it's down right awful but Dorothy Sue said..." And, of course, I find myself responding with a soft southern accent of my own. "Dorothy Sue said what? You outta be kiddin me." It's then that I realize, ahh yes, I'm Home Sweet Home.

Join me in the chorus, will you? It feels like home to me, It feels like home to me. It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from. It feels like hoome to me, it feels like hoooome to meeee. It feels like I'm allll the waaay back where I beeelonnnnngg!

Buy the Shoes.

While perusing the book section in Target late Friday afternoon, I came across Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes: Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I could tell I liked Joyce Meyer. Instead of buying the book, I read into the title. Of course I should be giving myself permission to lighten up! You see, I'll usually buy the shoes, but I rarely eat the cookie. The realization changed my entire weekend plans. I spent all Saturday and most of Sunday giving myself permission. I gave myself permission to buy the cropped black pants from Gap and a cute tweed mini skirt from J-Crew. I gave myself permission to buy a few long sleeves from Michael Stars and new leopard print flats from Target. I even gave myself permission to buy new make-up from Benefit and an awesome new nail polish from MAC. It wasn't until late last night that I realized I left the cookies on the shelf. I guess some of us will never change. But, thanks for the advice Joyce, what a great weekend! I hope I made you proud! Partially proud anyway...

Hello.

As I strolled down Lake Shore Drive last night, I realized Fall is in full effect. The trees are changing colors, Oak Street Beachstro was taken down, and Castaways is quiet. I know its October, but it all happened so fast. As I realized summer had come to a close, I began to run down my list of things I wanted to do or accomplish over the season: Read Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang...check. Grow out my hair...check . Ride the Navy Pier Farris Wheel...$25?!?, cross off list Go on a yacht...check. Terrorize Chicago by bike...check. Green City Farmers Market...check. Look like Blake Lively... Visit PURE Michigan...check. Party like a rock star at all 7 weddings...check. Concert at Ravinia...check. Add stamps to my passport, China - Ireland...check. check. Start a blog...shit. In a last ditch effort to complete my summer 'To-Do' list, here goes nothing. I am starting a blog. Enjoy.